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NIGHTMARE #1
After a long night of making love, the young guy rolled over, pulled out a cigarette from his
jeans and searched for his lighter.
Unable to find it, he asked the girl if she had one at hand. "There might be some
matches in the top drawer," she replied. He opened the drawer of the bedside table and found a box of matches sitting neatly
on top of a framed picture of another man. naturally, the guy began to worry. "Is this your husband?" he inquired nervously.
"No, silly," she replied, snuggling
up to him. "Your boyfriend then?" he asked. "No, not at all," she said, nibbling away at his ear. "Well, who is he then?"
demanded the bewildered guy. Calmly, the girl replied, "That's me before the operation."
NIGHTMARE #2
The spark had been lost in this guy's marriage, so he was trying to
think of a way to rekindle it. One night he came from work, and found his wife asleep in bed. He thought to himself, "what
should I do?" "Oh-I know." He proceeded to get under the covers and go down on his wife. Soon she began to gently squirm and
moan in pleasure.
After a few minutes, her body spasmed with ecstasy as she climaxed.
Afterwards, the man went straight
to the bathroom to brush his teeth. When he got there, the light was on and he saw his wife there shaving her legs. He exclaimed,
"What are you doing in here?!?" She said, "Shhhh!," pointing at the bed, "You'll wake your mother"
NIGHTMARE #3
One night a guy takes his girlfriend home. As they are about to kiss
each other goodnight at the front door, the guy starts feeling a little horny. With an air of confidence, he leans with his
hand against the wall and smiling, he says to her, "Honey, would you give me a blow job?" Horrified, she replies, "Are you
mad? My parents will see us!" "Oh come on! Who's gonna see us at this hour?" He asks grinning at her. "No, please. Can you
imagine if we get caught?" "Oh come on! There's nobody around, they're all sleeping!" "No way. It's just too risky!" "Oh please,
please, I love you so much?!?" "No, no, and no. I love you too, but I just can't!" "Oh yes you can. Please?" Out of the blue,
the light on the stairs goes on, and the girl's sister shows up in her pajamas, hair disheveled, and in a sleepy voice she
says, "Dad says to go ahead and give him a blow job, or I can do it. Or if need be, mom says she can come down herself and
do it But for God's sake tell him to take his hand off the intercom!"
Did you
know that you can tell from the skin whether a person is sexually active or not.
1. Sex is a beauty treatment.
Scientific tests find that when women make love they produce amounts of the hormone estrogen, which makes
hair shiny and
skin smooth.
2. Gentle, relaxed lovemaking reduces your chances of suffering dermatitis, skin rashes and blemishes.
The sweat produced cleanses the
pores and makes your skin glow.
3. Lovemaking can burn up those calories you piled
on during that romantic dinner.
4. Sex is one of the safest sports you can take up. It stretches and tones up just
about every muscle in the body. It's more enjoyable than swimming 20 laps, and you don't need special sneakers!
5.
Sex is an instant cure for mild depression. It releases the body endorphin into the bloodstream, producing a sense of euphoria
and leaving you with a feeling of well-being.
6. The more sex you have, the more you will be offered. The sexually
active body gives off greater quantities of chemicals called pheromones. These subtle sex perfumes drive the opposite sex
crazy!
7. Sex is the safest tranquilizer in the world. IT IS 10 TIMES MORE EFFECTIVE THAN VALIUM.
8. Kissing
each day will keep the dentist away. Kissing encourages saliva to wash food from the teeth and lowers the level of the acid
that causes decay, preventing plaque build-up.
9. Sex actually relieves headaches. A lovemaking session can release
the tension that restricts blood vessels in the brain.
10. A lot of lovemaking can unblock a stuffy nose. Sex is a
national antihistamine. It can help combat asthma and hay fever.
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